You think thats everythings allright, that your life is finally on the right tract.  But then someone says something so innocently and it spins you out of control all that was normal and right is now dippind diving, dying. You thought you were whole again, but guess what they freaking lied.  They told you the pain would leave, that everything would be okay, but its not and it never will be.  Some people say get over it, its long gone your a wuss, you just want attention pity.  But its not gone it haunts my every movment my every breath.  It follows me waiting to pounce to kill.  They told me I would be okay, but they lied.  Your life that was pure and happy un scathed by the world is full of hate anger, abuse, frustration, emotions that take control of your mind your soul your heart.  Emotions that make you want to cry and run and hide. Emotions that tear apart everythign you were and replace that sweet young girl with an old bitter Hag. You fall into a hole that nothing, anywhere will ever be able to pull you out of. You live a life without really living.  Each day is lived in hopes of making it through without crying without needing emptiness.  Is that to much to ask for? Emptiness.  No light, no darkness, no sounds, no hurt, no love, no emotions just pure emptiness, pure nothingness.  No tears, no joy, no pain, no sorrow, no ANYTHING! I Cant deal with everything anymore.  I just want to close my eyes and see nothing. Not air not wind not fire. Not life not death. You think im crazy, you think that i dont know what i want.  You tell me it  will be okay, you tell me its just a phase. I finally understand you say these things beause you fear the thing i want the most.

All I want is nothing, All I need is nothing.  All I ask for is nothing.

All I have is nothing- all I am is nothing-you and I aren't very different. The nothingness that you long for- it may come upon request... yet it seems that we never have what we want when we want it. Isn't it true? Well, all the same- you're in my prayers. I know exactly how ya feel...

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